Another New Year and another new chapter

So here it is another new year a fresh start, and yet I'm absolutely petrified. How am I going to do this?

I'm so scared I have 6 days until the incest survivors group meets. I promised Id do this and now I feel sick simply knowing its less than a week away.

I'm afraid of all that will be brought up by this process. I simply do not remember my childhood before the age of 10. Nothing at all.

So this may dig up past stuff that I'm not too sure I can deal with.

I'd love to be happy that its a fresh slate to write on, and begin my future but instead I feel paralyzed by fear of what this year may bring.

There are possible happiness and also possible failure lurking around the corner.

When times get hard I sit and read the few letters of encouragement and my counselor said in hers that I would have freedom I will enjoy throughout and at the end of this process. I'm hoping and praying for that but it doesn't seem possible. Freedom from what?

And I start this journey alone which makes it even tougher. I wish I had that someone to sit and listen to me without feeling like a freak.